Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
