you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
