The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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