if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
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