From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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