is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
