She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
