If that was your dad, he is hot
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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