I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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