seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
