I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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