My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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