She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
