Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
