Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I need a beard to bite.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
