Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
