i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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