Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
