well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
