Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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