His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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