i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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