I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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