Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
