I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
