what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
