Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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