me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
