I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
