i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
nutella sex= disaster
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I would fuck him just for his dog
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
