yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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