I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
