at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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