he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
