You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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