I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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