I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
