Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You're a waste of cheezeits
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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