I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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