...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
