It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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