Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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