For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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