I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
