He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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