Me. At least after what I've been through.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
