I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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