I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
