We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
