My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
