when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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