Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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