oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
