I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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