that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
